from the Queen’s Vantage Point:
One of the things that I have noticed when watching Kdrama is that the men cry when they are hurt. I really admire that. Since men are human, too, and since they also possess tear ducts, I feel it only natural that they can show the emotions that they feel whatever those emotions are. As an American, I do not understand, nor condone, homes where boys are taught that only girls and sissies cry. What does that mean? Could God not figure out that men were not to cry and gave them something that they were not to use? Does not seem like something The Almighty would not know or overlook as He created man.
Tears have a wonderful medicinal value. They cleanse the soul and release those wonderful endorphins that make us all feel good after releasing them. What does not make sense it the people who determine that men should not share or even be exposed to such a wonderful release. Tears are multifunctional. There are tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of pain, and tears of confusion. Tears do not have to be strained to get them out, but they are cooperative to those who strain to get them. In the wonderful series, Assorted Gems, the tears of pain mixed with confusion when the wonderful mother, Terry, is struck with Alzheimer’s. Her loving husband is devastated. Her daughter sheds tears of anger because she did not know of her mother’s illness. She cries tears of shame for the way she has misbehaved and shamed her mother in the past. Lastly, she sheds tears of loss when her mother dies. No one would find this strange because she is after all a woman.
When we watched You’re Beautiful, we all cried the tears of pain of Taekyung as he felt his mother’s rejection. Imagine being a young adult and not understanding why you and your mother have never had a real relationship, and then imagine your mother telling you that she never wanted you and in fact, put you away so that she could be with a man. Then, add to that the fact that she wanted to be a parent to that man’s little twin children. There is nothing to match tears of pain. They tear at your soul while ripping your heart apart. These are the worse tears because they come with the unanswerable question, “Why me?”
Ah, tears! What would the world be without tears? From the Queen’s vantage point, it would be so devoid of emotion! There are tears to fit every emotion that we can ever have and all of them work to aid in our wellbeing. Crying yourself to sleep will help you cope better when you awake. Crying in happiness helps the look ahead to be so clear. When you cry out in pain, it sends an alarm to let someone know help is needed. We cry when we are proud of a child, or when a soldier returns home, or for the unexpected surprise party we did not know anyone was going to give us. You do not need to invite tears to the party. They always come with a permanent invitation and can show up at any time and be right on time every time.
Even tears of confusion come with the promise of clarity. Someone will help the person crying to understand why something is happening or had to happen. Tears of anger will demand the answers while mingling with the tears of fear. Yes, tears come in combination as they did for Dr. Jung in Padam Padam. How sad to have to shed tears of joy with the tears of anger, fear, and defeat! Yes, tears are like that. They do not discriminate among each other like the people who shed them do. Tears fall as they are called to duty and falling in combination does not interfere with the process.
What the shedding of tears does on the outside of the body is for everyone to see. Some people will even comment on the way someone else looks as they cry. “Oh, look, she is crying! She looks so happy!” “Oh, you should never cry! You look horrible when you cry!” “That lady cried so hard at her daughter’s wedding it ruined all her makeup!” Tears are not the kind to go unnoticed unless you shed them in private. However, what they do on the inside of the body is a secret. Whatever it is, it helps us to cope and from the Queen’s point of view, that is a good thing. So, if it hurts, cry. If it feels good, cry. If it makes you happy, cry. If it confuses you, cry tears of frustration. Whatever you do and no matter what your sex, male or female, it you need to cry, cry. Tears stand at attention to help you get through it and all you have to do is feel the need. They will help you find the peace of the spirit.
Just do not become a whiner, because then you lose the real purpose of tears from the Queen’s vantage point.
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